My husband spoke in front of our church congregation today. He spoke about the greatness of the power of God and how sometimes, His plan isn’t your plan. When his brother passed away 18 months ago, it was unexpected. He was a healthy 31 year old with a wife and three small kids. He got a blood clot that moved to his brain causing a stroke and subsequent brain aneurism. It was horrible. Honestly, the thought of it is still very horrible.
He spoke about accepting God’s plan and using the Priesthood to do God’s work, even if you don’t want to complete His will. But that God’s plan is the right one, even if we don’t understand it. I wish I could say it how he did. Blake used the most simple of words but they were so powerful. I was so proud of him. He does not love talking about this topic. It’s hard and he tried so many times to not talk about Ryan during his talk. He wrote down a bunch of different ideas, but he knew he had to talk about him and the experience and share it with 150 of our “closest friends”.
It’s interesting how the hardest things in our lives can either bring us closer to God, to learn more about his ways. Or take us farther away from God and make us bitter. I’ve seen both instances. I’m glad that Blake shared his experience with the people at church because it’s part of his grieving process. Hearing him talk about it and reliving those moments was downright hard. And my heart is heavy tonight. But seeing how far he has come and sharing hard things in hopes that his experience will help somebody else made my heart feel light.
These hard things we have to do in life just stink sometimes. They are the worst! And sometimes you don’t want to accept the plan. And sometimes you want to be mad but how can you be mad at God who made our spirits and blessed us with all we have. How can you be mad at the One who provided an atonement for us? How can you be mad at a loving Heavenly Father who does things for our good and then provides comfort when you don’t think you can make it another day. I am so grateful to know He is real and does provide for our every need, whether we believe in Him or not and whether we want Him to or not. He just does. Because He loves us and knows us perfectly and will do everything He can to bring us home to Him.
Ryan and Blake polishing their shoes when Ryan and Monica came to visit us 7! years ago. I like to think Ryan was alongside Blake today as he spoke.